Todays Poem on the Writers' Almanac

Purgatory Is Nearer in November

by Josephine Jacobsen

November is beautiful as the word sounds, is gray, is bare,
Is compact of wind, of leaves blown and the thin, tall rain;
Brought back to our care are the dead in November,
and the air of these days is charged with their pain.

For these are not the free dead, not the remote, bright crowd
Of our picture-book, or our image of nebulous heaven:
These are caught, tangled in a web comfortless as a shroud—
These have not familiar place, nor flight, nor oblivion, even.

They have not escaped yet-they are close in the clouds massing
together;
At the cold first drop you will stare on the dark ground and remember.
They are the accent of autumn, they are the source of the tone of this
weather.
The heart is reached by the waiting dead, in their month, in November.

"Purgatory Is Nearer in November" by Josephine Jacobsen, from Contents of a Minute. © Sarabande Books, 2008.

Blah Day

I have once again been hesitant to post due to not being in a very good space, but here we go....

I believe it's this time of year that gets me down. There always seems to be a lot of death and illness all around. Maybe that's why having holidays distracts us from all the sadness?

The last few weeks have certainly been a challenging one for me.

I really am trying to keep a positive spirit but lately that little engine that could is losing the battle, burning it's wheels trying to make it to the top of that mountain.

Today is the actual burial of my good friends' mom. Her ashes will be buried along with her cats' ashes today at 11am. Its a rainy blustery day here and seems fitting for a burial.

I hurt my shoulder, recently, raking leaves at my moms' house. I totally overdid it. I raked for over 5 hours straight! What was I thinking? I wasn't. Now I am dealing with the repercussions.
A shoulder that has bursitis and sore muscles all around. My Osteopath just shook her head in disbelief when I told her of my latest injury. I then got very sad and disappointed in myself for one...not listening to my body when it told me to stop or slow down, and two....that I am not at the same place physically as I was 2 years ago or so. I am still regaining my strength and recovering from some pretty damn intense treatment.

I just get frustrated sometimes and that leads to depression of sorts.

I am feeling better today but this weather is making it hard to find that extra bit of energy to keep moving forward.

This is also a lonely time of year. It's been quite some time since I've been on a date or been dating someone.

It's like when babies are left alone too long they get sick and crave that touch. Humans need that physical touch, that love and caring, just to survive.

I'm feeling like that baby sitting alone in the dark, just crying out for some love and for someone to just hold me.

So, theres my sad post for today.

I am doing ok, even if it seems i'm not. I just have some sadness around me at the moment. I'm sure i'll be back to my hopeful self soon.