Friday, November 26, 2010

November Rain

I haven't blogged here in months and months....i'm sure no one is still checking for posts but i wanted to write today

I have never liked the Fall and especially November.

There is always sickness and/or death at this time of year. Very depressing.

It's the time of year when the leaves die from trees, the crops have all been harvested (most of them) and the sun has weakened in strength.


The last year or so has brought death to two friends of mine and some other people I know of thru cancer.

Last Sunday another friend died of cancer. Jennifer Willey(blog listed on left). She was only 31 and had been dealing with the hell of treatments and such for at least 5 years.

I only met her once in person and have followed her blog for over 3 years. We were supposed to try and have lunch sometime, hang out. That never happened.

Today I'm going to her wake

A good friend of mine is also dealing with major pain and issues from cancer. I went to see her in PA with my best friend who has been friends with Lina for years and years. I have only known her for a few years now. She is a wonderful, extremely giving, thoughtful, magical, beautiful person. I hate to see her in so much pain and discomfort.

I haven't been able to cry. I'm feeling emotional but no tears come.

I wonder if the wake will release the flood gates? It may be the trigger.

I try to look at all the beauty of this time of year as well, but lately its been really challenging.

I did cook my first ever turkey yesterday. I was on my own with my cat Stewie. That way no one is disappointed if it didn't come out ok. It turned out alright. Being on my own was actually pretty nice. Mellow day.

I am thankful and grateful for all the abundances in my life, including all my family and friends.

I just wish i could appreciate the Fall better. I"m working on it.